Reasons Why I Hate Technology:
The feeling is mutual. If it hasn’t broken yet it is only a matter of time, and I am finding it increasingly difficult not to take this personally. On Wednesday I left my almost brand new cool looking adult cell phone on the table for a mere 2 minutes and when I came back that was it - it was all over. I DIDN’T EVEN DROP IT I SWEAR, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS - IT MAKES NO SENSE. Now I am back to my busted baby’s first flip phone that cost 10 dollars and looks it.
I don’t speak the language. And not for lack of trying, but whenever I try to open my mouth about mega gigs or whatever it becomes pretty clear pretty quickly that I have no idea what I’m talking about. This is kind of embarrassing because as a photographer all of these things are kind of MY LIVELIHOOD. I just can’t seem to pick it up. Oh and I tried really hard to come up with a clever way to use “g’igga please” without being offensive or corny; impossible.
Its super hard to keep up. I know the second I get an I phone (I want one so hard!) something cooler and more badass is going to come out that I will covet FOR YEARS before I take the plunge and get that thing too… and then another even cooler thing will come out completing the cycle of disappointment and low self esteem.
It doesn’t mix well with Tequila - which is kind of a deal breaker for me. I cannot count how many times I have woken up and immediately been like “oh my god oh my god why the fuck did I send that” and dived back under my covers. I cannot be trusted, embarrassment is inevitable.
Its usually really realllllly expensive and really realllllly fragile. I am no swan if you get my drift and I would totally be cool with my phone breaking if I dropped it like I have done thousands of times in the past - but just sitting there? unacceptable. Anything that costs over $200 should be a the very least Andrea proof - and anything over $1,000 should be indestructable
I think this proves I was switched at birth with an Amish baby. On a farm somewhere in Pennsylvania or something there is someone really good at computers that doesn’t fly in to blind rages when the wheel an ox cart inexplicably breaks. Actually scratch that, I suck at that stuff too. I paper mached a horn for my halloween costume last nightand glue is EVERYWHERE. I am the murphy’s law of life.
