Favorite Bars of New York City In No Particular Order (I so get what my mom meant when she said that she loves us all equally):
Pizza Bar / Alligator Lounge 2 / LuLu’s - The name is unclear, the deal however is CRYSTAL. Free pizza with every beer, $1 each for extra toppings (I recommend bacon), and they are usually playing shitty punk music. A dream come true! 113 Franklin St. @ Greenpoint Ave
Matchless - I once ordered a dozen wings there and they gave me all drumsticks which, at the time, I thought was the coolest thing that has ever happened to me (I may not be wrong). They totes get me, which is rare for a bar. Also they have a karaoke night which I do not participate but enjoy watching, and there’s usually a cute guy or two I can try and make eyes at but really just make an ass out of myself and feel super weird about. So, in short, everything I want out of a bar and more. 557 Manhattan Ave @ Driggs
Mark Bar - Its definitely divey - and I love dives! They have free popcorn, food I have never tried (but I like the idea that its waiting for me when I’m ready), a decent jukebox, 2 flavors of frozen margaritas in one of those spinning machines (pink and yellow), and its 5 bucks for a shot of bourbon (American whiskey yeck) and a pbr. Also, no one there is remotely attractive which can potentially save me a lot of embarrassment (I may be drunk but I am not BLIND) and once as I was entering my friend pushed me into a bike (ok-maybe not sober) and not only do I still have the scars to prove it, I didn’t even realize I was injured until my other friend reached down to touch my knee (sexy!) and his hand came away covered in blood. If that’s not fucking tough I don’t know what is, and now I have a charming story to tell at parties and family functions! 1025 Manhattan Ave @ Green St
Habitat - 2 words: laaaaaaaaaaaaadies night!!!!!! free waffle fries for ladies, 3 dollar select drafts for ladies, 3 dollar well drinks for ladies, and 3 dollar wine and sangria FOR LADIES. Whenever I go it seems like everyone is there completely by accident; so the night is decidedly sans glitter and tiaras and like boobs out trying to attract dicks; which I’m decidedly cool with. But we still talk about boys and stuff (we just don’t think we need a fucking cosmo to do it ok?), and sometimes they play classic 80’s movies like The Goonies and Police Academy (hilarious!). Also Tuesday is 25 cent wing night and not to brag, I am VERY good at eating wings and this gives me an opportunity to really show my stuff. 988 Manhattan Ave @ Huron St.
Welcome to the Johnsons - The only bar on this list located in Manhattan (fuck you Annex), and prob my fav bar of all time eternity forever. Best, best, BEST juke box known to man. Descendents, Black Flag, Iron Maiden, the Buzzcocks, Johnny Cash, and oh yeah the Descendents. It is my punk fantasy juke box; an orgasm for the ears. See also; cheap pbr / well drinks, awkwardly placed pool table and furniture, gross “unisex” bathroom with a door that doesn’t lock - translation? heaven on earth. Only downside is a bunch of douche bags that are all like “the lower east side is so edgy lets stop by a few bars this weekend and try and impress girls by telling them we’re actors that live in park slope” go there on the weekends - but honestly I am usually too happy to care and the bartenders are smoking hot and probably in really good bands. 123 Rivington St @ Essex St
The Levee - I dont know; whenever I go there its crazy busy, they have awesome drink specials with beers from Texas paired with cheap tequila, and free cheeseballs. Need I say more? 212 Berry St @ Metropolitan Ave
The Pencil Factory - Perhaps saving the best for last (I know I promised not to play favorites but…) its a neighborhood solid. Great beer selection, even better bartender selection, and an all around good crowd. That thing I said about the bartenders sounds sleazy- but I mean it in a nice way. They are really cool, sometimes let me pick the music, and Charles will text me and ask me if its ok to cock block Caroline because he thinks some guy is creepin on her- and yes Charles it is ALWAYS ok to cock block Caroline, and for the record I appreciate the big brother rapport. Also the interior is dark and moody and comfy cozy for a cold night, and outdoor seating available for a warm one. Love it. 142 Franklin St @ Greenpoint Ave
I tried to even this out because I like a list with a nice round 10, but my liver isn’t in that bad of shape and to be honest I’m too much a creature of habit to really venture outside of these 7. However my other favorite places to drink include any couch in front of any tv, any place with my friends, and any place I probably shouldn’t (danger buzz!).
